A Challenge was laid down to the parody writers of AMR to come up with a parody of The Analog Kid. The results were astounding, and frankly made my own look just a little bit crap.
Entry 2. Jonathan Schafer
Entry 3. Lerxst in Wonderland
Entry 4. Qenny
Entry 5. Mike Smith
Entry 6. Paul and Matt
A long and windy OT posting, soon
has the group in constant motion.
With a flash of their white keys,
As they're flaming by degrees.
The boy sits on his ass with a joint,
stuck between his lips.
A vague sensation quickens
as a flamer draws his court,
And a rage of violent passion,
has him longing to retort.
You move me,
You move me,
Your flaming and your lies,
and your oft pathetic cries,
You move me,
You move me,
Open war with philistines,
Busy signals, busy lines.
The sunk eyed girl with callow face,
Perches on the edge of her screen,
And the mocking of her peers,
And their flames bring her to tears.
The boy sits on his ass unmoving,
Staring at the screen,
His mother starts to call him,
From his bedroom, from his dream,
Her calls they go unanswered, his mind,
Fixed on his machine.
You lose me,
You lose me,
With your torments and your jibes,
With your sad and lonely lives,
You lose me,
You lose me,
Open letters to be read,
Busy ramblings to be shared
You call me,
You call me.
Too many flames in my mind.
Did I hurt your feelings?
Too many threats to be kind.
When I log on I don't know
What I'm hoping to find.
Whe I log off you will know,
What I'm leaving behind.
A hot and windy August afternoon
Has Tyree in constant motion
With a flash of his wheelchair
As he maneuvers through the trees
A girl named Kelly smiles at him
She's really got big teeth
They meet and profess their
love for one another from the start
Let's make a web page spam amr
Then quickly we'll depart
You move me
you move me
When a movie with no plot
Tyree's chat rooom hits the spot
You move me
you move me
If only LIBBY could be there
OTIS too in underwear
ICQ me
ICQ me
The big toothed girl with hump backed shoulder
Dances on the edge of their bed
With a pizza in her hand
Needs the "sauce" to make it grand
Tyree lies on the bed his hand is
Jerking at light speed
But he loses his erection
Before he can finish the deed
And the big toothed girl she leaves him
For a real man to fill her need
Too many chats on his mind
Too many clit rings
Too many spams on our time
He claims he's leaving for good
This is the last time
Until he moves his web page
Once again for LIW to find...
Entry 3. Lerxst in Wonderland.
A hot and steamy New York afternoon
has Tyree's mind in constant motion
with a swipe he wipes off beads
of sweat dripping on his keys
The Lib lies on his bed with his phone
lying through his teeth
some vague new paranoia
in his dumb and clueless heart
Not bright, his homophobia
has him longing to smell farts
Amuse me--
Amuse me--
With your stories and your lies
Chubby Kelly's chubby thighs
Amuse me--
Amuse me--
L.A. Dreams, Wisconsin nights
Jido Kwan claims he can fight
Appall me--
Appall me--
The rat-eyed girl with dreadlocked hair
Dances on the minds of all those geeks
And her flames make their dicks stand
like a pole between their hands
Tape Head smokes up his grass, unmoving
Staring at the screen
His mother starts to call him
as he uses some Visine
and Paul decides to be Diet Troll
and teach what trolling means
Email me--
Email me--
with your addys and real names
we'll get to Tyree and we'll flame
Email me--
Email me--
Frans is on Greenwich Mean Time
4 AM should be just fine
Just call me--
Just call me--
Spew little sperms on my slice
spew little seedlings
Change your URL twice
When I post I don't know
what I'm going to find
and when I post I don't know
How it effects Ben Has' mind
A hot and spicy chicken vindaloo has my arse in constant motion
With a flash of liquid brown
As the murky mess goes down
The boy sits on the toilet with the TP in his hand
A feeling of doom rises
As his rectum takes the strain
He howls in despair
As the urging comes agai-ai-ain!
You burn me
You burn me
Oh I curse your curry spice
Oh this feeling isn't nice
You sting me
You sting me
Oh you cursed vindaloo
What did I ever do to you
You burn me
The fawn-eyed girl with sunbrowned legs has come out for a
curry as well
Her farts echo round the room
Like a badly played bassoon
The boy sits on the john, unmoving, cursing curry to hell
His mother calls the doctor
When she notices the smell
And the boy shouts downstairs to her
Call the fire brigade as well
Too many farts in this room Too much burning
I only went ten minutes ago but the feeling's returning
When I crap I don't know what's going to come out
When I crap I don't know what expletive I will shout
The Frag-a-lot Kid
A hot and heavy round of Q-3-Test
Has the grunts in constant motion
A barrage of railgun blasts
Make the campers come in last
The boy hits the jump pad with rockets
Boosted by the quad
To gib the newbie llama
Who keeps asking "what's a mod?"
And forgets to pick up armor
To protect his scrawny bod
Chorus:
You fragged me,
You slagged me...
You must really play a lot
Or are you a goddamn bot?
You killed me,
You gibbed me...
Though I thought I really cranked
You sure know how to rail-spank
You railed me,
You nailed me...
The Crackwhore skin, high poly count
Fills up every Quake addict's dreams
But your k-rad Quakin' skillz
Are what really give me chills
The low-ping-bastard keeps on winning
Scoring really high
My modem just can't keep up
I don't know why I still try
I should quit this game forever
And just hang my head and cry
Repeat chorus
Too high my reaction time
Too many spankings
Too many frags are not mine
When I fire I don't know
Who my rocket will find
When I run I don't know
Who is on my behind...
Has Tyree pull out his lotion
With a flash of silver wheels
As he gives himself a squeeze
The boy sits in his chair with pizza
Stuck between his teeth
A vague sensation stirring
In the middle of his crotch
And then before you know it
Here's there playing with his cock!
Chorus
You mooned me
You mooned me
With your Kelly riding thighs
And your wild erotic cries
You mooned me
You mooned me
Open zipper on his tights
He is wanking every night
Spank monkey
Spank monkey...
The clitringed girl with yellow teeth
Lapdances on the edge of his chair
But he's spanking all alone
Cause Kelly's not really there
The boy lies in the chair, unmoving
Staring at his thighs
The Playboy sticks together
As his vaseline runs dry
And the boy pulls down his blue sweatpants
And screams in pure delight
Chorus
Too many hands on my thighs
Too many beatings
Kelly's big ass on my mind
When she leaves I don't know
What I'm going to grind
I am scared, my mother said
It'd make me go blind...